The "going away" talk

I was wondering when I would get the "going away" talk. The one about how I'll be all alone when I go to McGill and have total freedom, about reponsibility and all. Well, I got it on friday night. I can't really remember how exactly it started, just that my parents were downstairs watching TV, and I went down to get some lozenges for my throat.

Dad: "So you know you'll probably feel homesick and lonely at first right? Especially in the first few months you are over there."

Me: "Yup."

Well, I'll have to live with it won't I? Going to Canada to study was my parents' idea anyway. Not that I don't want to go, it's just that I didn't think I'd have the opportunity.

Mom: "Especiallly on your birthday and over Christmas."

Hmm... Let's see... When I was serving NS, I spent my 19th birthday in, of all places the Temburong Jungle in Brunei. That was fun. In the middle of a 7 day, 6 night mission. My birthday present then? A night's worth of rain. And Christmas last year? Oh yeah, in Hendon Camp, on a week's long standby. Watching the rest of camp book out to go for block leave during that period was the best Christmas present ever. Really. As my RSM said then, "the whole of Singapore, myself and CO included, can enjoy their holiday, thanks to you guys.". That sure made me proud. Ok, I had my platoon mates with me on both occasions, but hey, being in camp just takes the fun out of everything. So this year I'm gonna be away from my family and friends on these 2 occasions. Again. Sigh.

Me: "Yup."

Dad: "You might get depressed and homesick, so make sure you know the signs of depression and watch out for them. Don't sink into depression."

This is coming from my dad. The same person whom I asked if I could come back during my summer break. His response? "Come back for what? Stay there and work lah. And if you come back, your exit permit how? What if they call you up for reservist training? What if they don't let you go back to Canada till you complete your reservist training?". So now he wants me to watch our for depression and homesickness.

Me: "Ok, but will I be coming back for the hols in my second year?"

So I try to push the subject again. I'd really like to come back to Singapore during my hols, just to catch up with my friends and family again. After all, I might be emigrating to Canada after I complete my studies over there.

Dad: "I don't know lah. We'll see how it goes."

See how it goes? Ok... Anyway, this also means I could probably ask them to let me have a little gathering/going away party/birthday dinner thingy with my friends before I go. I hope. I decided not too push for it just yet.

Me: "Ok."

Dad: "You must also have a strong moral compass. Over there, it's absolute freedom, no one to tell you what's right and what is wrong. We won't be there. We trust you know what is right or wrong. Don't go mixing with the wrong company and get started on drugs or tuen to booze or anything like that."

Me: "Yup."

Funny he should mention the drugs and booze thing, considering I was the one who told him about its prevalence, after I found out while talking to Suling.

Dad: "You must also be careful about girls and pre maritial sex."

Actually he said a bit more, but I can't remember it all. Anyway, it's not as if I haven't been open with my parents about this kind of thing, although, truth be told, there's not too much to be open about. My dad went on to talk about one of his friends' sons, who went overseas to study and ended up with a family. Instead of him supporting his parents after university, his parents have to keep sending him money to support his family. Guess my dad doesn't want ME to end up like that.

Me: "Ok."

Dad: "We won't be able to support you over there. Whatever money we have given you, it is for you to choose how to spend, so make sure you manage your finances properly."

Ah, freedom. But well, I don't disagree with him. My agreement with my parents is that they pay my tuition and housing fees, and my day to day expenses will be borne by me. I've got no problems with that, after all, they've got another 3 children to put through university after me.

Dad: "It's very exciting to be able to go overseas to study, and I'm actually excited for you. I would have liked the opportunity myself. I just want you to be prepared for what it'll feel like and to know that you might face some problems here and there."

Me: "Yup."

So that was it, it's true that it's an exciting opportunity, but all the same, I think I'm more or less prepared to face the challenges that being alone brings. No doubt there will be ups and downs, but well, you just gotta deal with it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. As the time draws nearer for me to leave, I'm actually beginning to look forward to it even more.