Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Money, money, money

So this is how you do it. Put up an ERP cordon around Orchard Road to reduce congestion, and a few days later, allow the public transport companies to raise their fares by the maximum amount permissable.

Might as well prepare us for the next increase and announce it now, a couple of years in advance. Put in the usual disclaimers and cite the need for fleet renewal and rising operating costs. Say it'll be subject to review, then allow them to go ahead with it anyway.

This is even better than SimCity. In that game, raise taxes and levy parking fines are there will be discontent and people will move away from your city. Your commercial district will have loads of abandoned buildings. Not so in sunny Singapore, here you can milk your citizens for all they are worth, and even get to call those who emigrate "Quitters". So fun right? SimCity didn't allow you to call those who chose to leave your city "Quitters".

According to the Public Transport Council, an estimated 0.1% decrease in unemployment and a growth forecast of 2.5 - 4.5% is sufficient grounds to raise the fares by the maximum allowed, never mind that people's pay packets might not have increased at all. And anyway, my family is not a "typical family of 4", so I don't give a crap about how their transport costs are estimated to increase by an average of $2.20 a month. There are 8 people in my humble HDB home, what's so typical about that?

Oh, and profits are "healthy", but not excessive, so you can go ahead and increase your fares, for "healthier" profits, you know. No need to go through the hard work of cost reduction and such. Just raise fares.

I'd rather not have "world-class" TV Mobile in buses and "world-class" plasma screens that play endless advertisements instead of showing me when the next train is arriving. I'll be satisfied with not-so-world-class LED panels in MRT stations, that actually display useful information all the time.

These justifications are just pathetic. If they want to allow an increase in fares, surely they should come up with better reasons than this.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Store Wars

I haven't been blogging much lately cos, well, there wasn't really much for me to talk about or reflect on, and also because I managed to get a temp job for a week from a friend. Anyway, I watched Episode 3 on Monday. The action scenes were pretty good, everyone knew what the storyline was and the dialogue was so bad, it was laughable.

For a parody of the Star Wars series, go here.

And for the Singapore style summary of the movie, you can go here. I know, I know, we must Speak Good English, but this is real funny. A word of warning though, if you haven't watched it and are planning to do so, don't go to the site yet. Got spoilers one, ok? Don't say I didn't warn you.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Michael Owen must really be kicking himself for quitting Liverpool for Real Madrid now.

And no, I am not a Liverpool fan.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

History

It's finally starting to sink in the day after. The VJC debate team made history and won the ACJC Intercollegiates yesterday night. Though my involvement in the development of the team has been limited by other commitments like NS, tuition and stuff regarding Canada, I'm really happy for the team.

Well done guys!

Monday, May 16, 2005

Memory lane

The past couple of days have been a trip down memory lane of sorts, meeting up with people whom I have not spoken to in a while, and it has been mighty fun. After last Thursday's dinner and dessert, I met up with another close friend yesterday.

We went to Chinatown because she had to book a trip for her family to Genting over the long weekend ahead, and I decided to go check out the prices of tickets to Canada for myself and my parents as well. After that was done, we just walked around the place because she had another appointment to keep in the evening, but did not plan to go home before that. And it felt just like the last time we did this kind of thing together, just walking around, updating each other about our lives and talking about serious stuff occasionally. On top of all this, there was, of course, the usual verbal jibes between the two of us. I enjoyed it all.

On the way home after my afternoon of wandering, I bumped into two other friends whom I have not seen in a while. I talked to both quite a fair bit, before leaving with the customary promise to stay in contact.

Today, I spent the morning cleaning up the clutter in my room, and I stumbled upon a lot of stuff from my friends past and present. Old birthday cards, Christmas greetings, letters, short messages, photos and the lot. Some of these letters were from friends with whom I have not had any contact with for years, despite our assurances to each other to stay in touch.

Sometimes, friendships just die a natural death. The lack of shared experiences after we go along on our individual paths makes maintaining a friendship awkward, because there really isn't all that much to talk about anymore. There is a gradual decline in communication, and eventually, it just becomes uncomfortable to talk to that person at all. Yet with other friends, the lack of shared experience does not seem to have any ill effect on the relationship. With some friends, occasional meet-ups seem sufficient for maintenance. Even though we have our own lives to lead, and problems to solve, picking up where we left off is effortless.

But no matter whether a friendship lasts a week or a lifetime, our friends will always leave an indelible mark in our lives, no matter how small, and even though sometimes, our parting may not have been amicable, we still remember the days when we were friends.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Dinner and dessert

Yesterday I met up with a couple of friends from my secondary school days for dinner at a hawker centre opposite Queensway. As one of us remarked, "This is the first time I come to Queensway without stepping inside or going to IKEA!". Ok, to clarify I did step inside Queensway shopping centre, for all of 10 minutes. We had BBQ seafood for dinner, and the food was pretty good, but not too filling, so we decided to get some ice-cream for dessert.

We headed down to Island Creamery at Serene Centre. The place sells locally made ice-cream, and notable flavours are Tiger beer sorbet, and teh-tarik ice cream. A single scoop sells for $2.50, and they sell 500ml tubs for $8. The ice-cream is good stuff, and the teh-tarik ice cream tastes like, well, teh-tarik lah. Pretty rich teh-tarik. Mudpies there are real good too.

Anyway, I had fun with my friends, as I always do. Even though we don't meet up all that frequently, we're always able to pick up where we left off as if nothing happened. We seem to be able to turn back the clock, and talk about stuff that is of no importance whatsoever, like how painting ceilings is tiring on the neck. We came up with a list of solutions to this that were so inane I'm not even going to bother listing it here, but it was good fun.

I'm just glad that the dynamic between us is still preserved even though we have mellowed ever so slightly with our age. It is real fun to hang out with them, just like we did in secondary school, and I always look forward to it since having fun with them seems so effortless.

Boy, will I miss times like these.

Monday, May 09, 2005

The trip

So we are going to Canada from the 9th to 23rd of June to get our PR cards. Together, one big family. Because it's "better". Instead of me, my mom and my brother going in mid-May and coming back by the end of the month, and my 2 sisters and my dad making the trip in June.

Nevermind that since my brother is in poly, he is going to miss 2 weeks of his final year because school starts on the 30th of May for him. Nevermind that my mum, who works as a doula, has work commitments in June.

So practically nobody is looking forward to the trip, even though it's supposed to be a holiday as well. But nevermind, at least we're sticking to the original plan, even though whether it is the better option is questionable.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

It's probably just me

Ok, so here it is, the reasons why I have been... unhappy over this past week.

I am not unhappy that my dad would rather I get a double room in McGill to save money. I understand his reasons for wanting to save money if we can. In fact, I agree that I should not be spending money unnecessarily because I have 3 other siblings who have yet to go through university. However, it is obvious we disagree on what is "unnecessary".

I even accept that we may not agree on what is "unnecessary". I have no problems with that either. But if I think that something is important to me, and I am willing to pay for it myself, I don't see what the problem is. If there is a problem, all I'm asking is for it to be highlighted to me. "Go talk to your mother" is not a response that helps me understand what the problem is. Especially if my mother is not the one who is opposed to my choice in the first place.

Having established all that, I think this episode is an indicative of a bigger problem. And that problem is how we people deal with uncertainty.

Let's be honest. Deciding to put in a PR application means that we are looking to emigrate. We might decide to come back to Singapore if we find we don't like it in Canada, but we are still going to be living in another country for a couple of years at least. There is uncertainty inherent in the decision to emigrate. I've elaborated on my uncertainties before in a previous post. I'm sure that my family members are also uncertain about how the future will turn out.

I understand the need for caution when faced with uncertainty. I agree that we should be cautious, but not overly so. Because in analysing risks, we need to accept that some risks should be taken. There is no fail-safe way to make sure everything works out as planned. Plans will need to be changed. In fact, plans have already changed. But change is not necessarily bad.

When dealing with uncertainty, some people try to plan for everything ahead of time. That's ok, but there is a need to recognise that plans need to be flexible to cope with the unexpected, that sometimes things can be done a different way, and still turn out alright.

But this is just my opinion on how we should deal with uncertainty. It isn't the only way we can deal with it.

I just think that since we have different concerns, we should highlight these concerns to each other. We should address the difference of opinions, not sweep it under the carpet, and say "there is nothing to talk about", when obviously there is.

But it takes 2 hands to clap, and there is only so much I can do. That is why I am unhappy. Not because we disagree, but because we refuse to recognise that we do. And because of that, we don't have a feel for our different concerns.

And it should not be that way.

I recognise however, that "should" is the operative word.

Maybe I need to recognise and accept that what "should be" and what "is" aren't always the same.

Maybe it's just me.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Incoherent

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should just learn to settle for less. Compromise, and settle for a little less than normal. After all, it's just "a little less" right? How much difference could it make?

If you make a choice that requires you to step out of your comfort zone, how do you deal with it? Shouldn't you try to familiarise yourself with the unfamiliar circumstances, thereby expanding your comfort zone? Step out, take a risk and see where it takes you?

Or maybe you should step back, because it is unfamiliar, and anything that is unfamiliar is unsafe. But what do I know right? I'm only 20, going on 21. I probably know nothing about what I'm talking about here.

Don't worry. Even I think I'm not making much sense.

Situation normal

Quite a number of thoughts have been floating around in my mind lately, but they're all over the place, and I don't know how much I should put into words.

If you speak an average of a sentence a day to someone living in the same house as you, the situation is normal, or so I am told.

Case closed. Nothing happened. Nothing to resolve. Let's go back to how everything was. I make my choices, and there will be no interference. I am free to do what I want.

Well, time to brush up my play-acting then.

Monday, May 02, 2005

First Principles

Worrying does not solve anything. Worrying about things which you have no control over, about things which you an do nothing about, just makes you more miserable. It also makes the people around you miserable.

If doing something makes you worry so much every one gets miserable, maybe you should not do that something.

If you really want to do that something, stop worrying about it. Just take things as they come.

Perspective is important. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't get hung up over "what if" situations. Face up to the problems when they arise. It's important to know what you want, so you have a general plan for things. But that's all it is - a general plan. Be flexible.

Trust yourself. Trust those around you. Trust that you can handle problems if they arise. If you really can't handle the problem, trust that your family and friends will be there to lend a helping hand. Above all, trust God. You do not have to face the world alone.

"God didn't promise day without pain, laughter without sorrow, or sun without rain. But He did promise strength for the day, comfort for tears and light for the way"

Sunday, May 01, 2005

I give up

I didn't have much to write about until the weekend, but now I have loads to talk about. First and foremost is related to my going to Canada for studies.

I can live with the fact that my dad worries about lots of things. I can live with the fact that he worries about my tuition fees and residence fees and all. I can live with the fact that he worries whether I'll be able to cope academically. I can live with the fact that he worries period.

But I can't stand it when he asks me to find out things for regarding my university education in Canada, and when I tell him he says "Tell to your mother lah". Because she is not the one who's worried about these things. Because HE asked me to find out. Because HE has the final say. He wanted to know more about my residence fees. Fine. I went to find out, and it is a legitimate concern. So I find out the difference between having a to myself and sharing a room with someone else is C$500. Having lived in communal conditions for 2 years, I'd rather live alone, in my own room. Maybe I'm anti-social. So be it. I want my personal space.

So I broach the subject to him.

"Can I get a singe room in McGill? The difference between a single room and a double is only $500 a year."

"How long exactly is a year?"
(McGill has 2 types of residence, one with an 11 month lease and one with an 8 month lease)

"8 months."

"Why do you want to live in a single room?"

"Well, because I don't want to be stuck with a lousy roommate?"

"How much does it cost again.?"

"C$500 a year, I'd be willing to pay the difference between a single and double room."
(My agreement with my parents is that they pay for my tuition and residence, and I'll pay for living expenses)

"Tsk, we should try to save money, how much is the total going to cost then?"

"I'm not sure, I gotta check the estimates we made before, but the difference in the housing costs is only going to be C$500."

"I dunno lah, talk to your mother"

I know we should try to save money, but that's why I asked my parents whether they were financially able to pay for my university expenses, whether they needed help. I was told not to worry. And anyway I offered to fork out the difference. And I don't understand why I now need to do an estimate of the costs all over again.

We already did that. I even managed to get him to sit down with me so that he could see how I arrived at the final estimate. So that I could answer his questions as best as I could. So that I could explain to him the costs as I understood them. So that I could include stuff in the estimates that he wanted.

Now the difference in the estimate of housing is going to be C$500, that's all. I'm not going to another faculty, I'm not deciding to go to another university with different costs. Everything is THE SAME. Housing's just going to cost C$500 more.

Anyway, my mum was in the room, so she tried to talk to my dad. I just walked out of the room to let him fret it out with my mum. I didn't want to hear it because it's always the same. He worries about some aspect of my university education , be it financial, academic, whatever. He then asks me to find out. So I oblige, I go find out, and tell him what I found out. Then he worries again and he asks me to find out more, or "talk to my mother".

So my mum comes to talk to me to ask me for the estimates. Which he had a hand in drawing up. So I regurgitate everything to her, and add in the C$500 difference. Which is basically what I told him before. How a full blown estimate is going to change the C$500 difference I don't know.

I can't stand that he wants me to keep him informed about what's going on with my application, but when I do, he tells me to "find out more" or "talk to my mum" when everything has to eventually go through him, when he will have to endorse the decision, not my mum. I don't understand why he has to hear things from my mum, when I know more about the process than she has to. And when she does explain things to him, she'll eventually get back to me to ask me to explain things to him in front of her.

This is quite frankly getting fucking ridiculous. I don't understand why my mum has to be put in the middle, why he has to hear everything at least twice, if not 3 times, from me or my mum. It doesn't change what he hears. I don't understand why he likes to worry about things he can't do anything about. Like I told my mum, if I'm going to study overseas, there are some costs that you can't avoid, no matter how much you worry about them. Like rent, like living expenses. Like it or not, you have to pay for these things. Worry about these thing is not going to make them go away. This was why I already asked my parents if they could afford it financially, whether I needed to chip in.

"We have more than enough."

Not just enough, but more than enough. And anyway, like I said, I offered to pay the bloody difference.

I give up. There are some uncertainties you just have to live with and deal with as they come along. If he wants to worry about every single thing, then I might as well not go. Stay in Singapore and study in NUS. No need to worry about food and lodging, no need to worry about exchange rate, no need to worry about expenses. No need to worry period.

I don't want to go anymore. I just can't stand it.