It's probably just me

Ok, so here it is, the reasons why I have been... unhappy over this past week.

I am not unhappy that my dad would rather I get a double room in McGill to save money. I understand his reasons for wanting to save money if we can. In fact, I agree that I should not be spending money unnecessarily because I have 3 other siblings who have yet to go through university. However, it is obvious we disagree on what is "unnecessary".

I even accept that we may not agree on what is "unnecessary". I have no problems with that either. But if I think that something is important to me, and I am willing to pay for it myself, I don't see what the problem is. If there is a problem, all I'm asking is for it to be highlighted to me. "Go talk to your mother" is not a response that helps me understand what the problem is. Especially if my mother is not the one who is opposed to my choice in the first place.

Having established all that, I think this episode is an indicative of a bigger problem. And that problem is how we people deal with uncertainty.

Let's be honest. Deciding to put in a PR application means that we are looking to emigrate. We might decide to come back to Singapore if we find we don't like it in Canada, but we are still going to be living in another country for a couple of years at least. There is uncertainty inherent in the decision to emigrate. I've elaborated on my uncertainties before in a previous post. I'm sure that my family members are also uncertain about how the future will turn out.

I understand the need for caution when faced with uncertainty. I agree that we should be cautious, but not overly so. Because in analysing risks, we need to accept that some risks should be taken. There is no fail-safe way to make sure everything works out as planned. Plans will need to be changed. In fact, plans have already changed. But change is not necessarily bad.

When dealing with uncertainty, some people try to plan for everything ahead of time. That's ok, but there is a need to recognise that plans need to be flexible to cope with the unexpected, that sometimes things can be done a different way, and still turn out alright.

But this is just my opinion on how we should deal with uncertainty. It isn't the only way we can deal with it.

I just think that since we have different concerns, we should highlight these concerns to each other. We should address the difference of opinions, not sweep it under the carpet, and say "there is nothing to talk about", when obviously there is.

But it takes 2 hands to clap, and there is only so much I can do. That is why I am unhappy. Not because we disagree, but because we refuse to recognise that we do. And because of that, we don't have a feel for our different concerns.

And it should not be that way.

I recognise however, that "should" is the operative word.

Maybe I need to recognise and accept that what "should be" and what "is" aren't always the same.

Maybe it's just me.