"I can't sit in front because then I can't talk. And if I can't talk I'll fall asleep."

This is what someone said to his friend before stepping into one of my classes. If you can't stay awake, buy some coffee, get some gum or just don't come to class. You want to talk in class to stay awake, and then bother the prof about things that have just been explained cos you were too busy talking and weren't listening, get your parents build your own school and hire your own teachers. Otherwise, stay at home and sleep. Don't be a selfish bastard and disrupt others' learning.

I am surrounded by irritating 18-19 year olds, and sometimes school feels like secondary school or JC again. I've lost count of the number of times when profs have had to ask people to keep it down and to stop talking.

There was even once when the prof had to raise her voice and bang on the table in the tutorial and tell the class off because it was too noisy. You know, like when you were in secondary school, and your form teacher would scold to the class about behaving properly during contact time because one of your subject teachers complained. After which there would be this awkward momentary silence. Like that. And then in subsequent classes they laugh about it, because they thought it was funny.

I wonder whether the day will come when the prof starts asking those who talk to put their index fingers on their lips like in primary school. That would be entertaining.

And then when you tell people in class politely to keep quiet because it's distracting, they give you this look like you shouldn't be asking for quiet in class.

I so want to smack them on the head and ask them to wake up their idea. Except that they would not know what the hell I mean.

Stupid kids.

I wish I was a kid again

Sometimes I wish I was a kid again because life was so much easier then, when you could attribute your lack of understanding on the fact that you were too young to know better.

The more you know and understand, the more complicated things become. Because now there are many sides to an issue, and you should be able to distinguish them. Yet, there is no right or wrong. You have to consider the nuances of the situation, the circumstances, and you have to be aware of the consequences of your chosen course of action or inaction. Our actions and feelings are tempered by our knowledge, and the burden of responsibilty that comes with it.

So we make our choices, knowing that we cannot always be fully aware of the consequences, and yet we will have to deal with these as yet undetermined consequences. We feel happy or relieved when we manage to achieve something, or maybe just to get through it. And yet we know that that feeling of satisfaction or relief is only temporary, because there is still more to come. Personal responsibilty behooves us to move on, because we cannot live in the past, because the world is moving on, and it is our responsibility to follow suit.

In knowing more, we also see more clearly just how much we don't know, and yet, it is because we want to find out more about what we don't know, that we try to know more.

I spy with my little eye

In class today "hey-my-good-man" c was seated two rows in front of me, playing on his faculty standard Toshiba Tecra M5 laptop. And guess what he did? He went to WebCT Vista to submit an assignment online.

But wait! He said that it crashes on him! Shouldn't I do the right thing and warn him of the grave consequences of him logging on to WebCT Vista? Before I can stop him, he has already logged in. Damn! My indecision has cost him, and he will now have to face the "blue screen of death"!

But well what do you know? It didn't crash. He could navigate without any problems, and he even managed to submit his assignment. An assignment which, by the way, was given to us in pdf format.

So just as I suspected, all his BS about his computer crashing and not being able to open pdfs was well, BS.

2 years in the army was not for nothing, though truth be told, he was not exaclty trying to be discreet. All the same, don't test my sharp ears eagle eyes.

Next time he asks for an assignment, depending on how I'm feeling, I will either ignore him or ask him to get it himself. And if he pulls that "it always crashes on me" bullshit again, I shall point out to him that his fancy Tecra seemed to work fine in class.

Midterm season

It has just occurred to me that starting next week, I have 7 midterms in 7 weeks. That means one midterm every week save for the first week in November, because I have 2 midterms in the same week 2 weeks from now. The last of my midterms is on November 20. Finals start 2 weeks later, on December 7th. So, I have 10 weeks before finals, and in 6 of those 10 I have midterms to study for. Not forgetting that there are weekly assignments in at least 2 of my courses, and work to boot. This is only the 4th week of school.

I guess maybe I should be thankful because this semester, the last day of classes is 5th December, and finals begin on the 7th. So thoughtful of the school to give us all of 24 hours to prepare for our finals. I am so gonna be working myself into the ground and I will have no life.

All I want is to make it through this semester. I hope I don't burn out before then.

I'm a "good man"

Either you're too lazy to log on to WebCT to get the assignment pdf yourself, or you've been downloading too much porn and it has messed up your computer. Either way, I am not helping you get assignment questions off the web anymore.

Here's what happened:

c says:

hey my good man

Of course I'm your "good man" because you only ever talk to me when you need help.

tim - crazy week ahead says:

heya

c says:

haha could you tell me this week's assignment questions?

tim - crazy week ahead says:

erm

tim - crazy week ahead says:

they're on webct

tim - crazy week ahead says:

i haven't gotten them off the web yet

In other words, GO GET THEM YOURSELF you lazy ass.

c says:

yeah, it keeps crashing on me

c says:

sorry could I ask this as a favour, after this I will leave you alone

Right. Because you don't really know me, and aren't interested in getting to know me anyway. Until the next time you need help. Which would probably be next week. Or when you need some answers/solutions to a problem, whichever is sooner. Then I'll be your "good man" again. I decide to dally a bit, just to make him wait. Anyway, I'm in the middle of homework, and I just want to finish it up first.

tim - crazy week ahead says:

yeah hang on

tim - crazy week ahead says:

i'm getting it now

So I send him the pdf.

c says:

thanks

c says:

wait, I'm not sure if I can open it, could you just tell me

Sending of "A4.pdf" to c has failed.

He cancels the transfer. I am puzzled.

I send you the file with the questions, and now you tell me you can't open it? You want me to send you the question numbers in the book one by one? It's not that it's difficult for me or anything, but hello, obviously you are not telling me something. You say WebCT crashes on you when you try to get the assignment, which I find highly dubious anyway, because if WebCT did really always crash on you, how come you haven't tried to get it fixed yet? And how do you manage to do all your homework and get info about classes?

tim - crazy week ahead says:

13.83

tim - crazy week ahead says:

13.95

tim - crazy week ahead says:

13.97

tim - crazy week ahead says:

13.105

tim - crazy week ahead says:

13.113

tim - crazy week ahead says:

you can't open pdfs?

So I give him the question numbers, and I ask casually why he can't open pdfs. I decide that I don't want this to be a weekly occurrence.

c says:

my friend hasn't downloaded that software

Huh? Your friend doesn't have acrobat reader on his computer? WTF?!? It's free, it usually comes pre-installed, and most courses in McGill have some pdf documents on WebCT anyway. You mean he's using a 486 with Windows 3.11 and cannot support acrobat reader?

And anyway, you told me that WebCT crashes on YOU. I assume that it means your computer. I know you have a laptop, because I've seen you play with it in class. And I know you just got it last year, because it's the faculty standard one. But hell, I guess your friend who doesn't have acrobat reader must have a really lousy computer then. Why the hell are you using it?

I decide to be kaypoh and a general pain in the ass.

tim - crazy week ahead says:

and his browser crashes in webct?

tim - crazy week ahead says:

i thought you said you had a problem with it

Suddenly, a flood of replies.

c says:

not on webct, just opening pdf's

c says:

thanks

c says:

later

And he's offline. He must not want to answer my questions. Which leads me to the conclusions that I drew.

Again, it's not so much that I have to help you. It's that you barely know me, and you only ever talk to me when you need help. That's all that ever happens. Every week. Sorry, but I am not your play thing. Go be a parasite to someone else.

Oh, and stop downloading porn lah.