Uncertainty

There is always uncertainty in life. You just can't be sure of everything. Just as you can't be sure whether something will turn out well, you also can't be sure something won't turn out well. It is a waste to be so preoccupied with your worries about uncertainty that you fail to recognize the opportunity that is right in front of you. Sometimes, you should just deal with things as they come along.

One life. Live it.

Choices

As I sit in my room, thinking and trying to make a decision, I think I've figured out something. Or maybe I just remebered something that I forgot. Maybe I forgot this because for the past 2 years, I haven't had to make decisions. At least not important ones.

We live with our choices. There is no such thing as the right choice. Beacause when you are presented with a choice, you make it, and you never get to know the outcome of the other choice. And because you don't know what might have happened, you won't know whether it was the right, or better choice. Sometimes, with the benefit of hindsight, you might think that you made a wrong decision. But the truth is, you never know. You can only guess what the outcome of the choice you didn't make was.

No point second guessing what the outcome might be. The outcome of your choices depends on what you make of them.

The job interview

I took a survey on Monday, for this "new recruitment company", or at least that was what I was told. Anyway, since I was looking for a job, I indicated in the survey that I'd like to be informed if they were able to match me to any jobs. So I got a call from them on Tuesday, asking me to go down for an interview with some "nanotech company" on Wednesday. Again, that was what I was told.

So on Wednesday, after playing LAN games with my friends in the afternoon, I went for this "interview". It was scheduled at 7pm, somewhere in Shenton Way. It wasn't an interview. This "nanotech" company sold water treatment systems. I found it a little odd, but since I was there already, I decided to see what it was all about. Big Mistake.

I was asked to fill out a form asking for the usual details, educational background, work experience, that kinda thing. Then they told me that they'd like me to go for a "product orientation". Ok.... I thought this was becoming a bit fishy, but I went for it anyway. So they had one of their sales people basically sell their product to me, except they didn't ask me to buy it. If they had, I would have walked out.

Their "nanotech product" was similar to Diamond Water, basically promising health benefits and the like. To me, the company looked like some MLM-type company, so I didn't pay much attention to the "product orientation".

So maybe I'm a skeptic, but I don't but all this "good for your health", "energised water" crap. I was told "this water is slightly alkali, with a pH of 8" and that is had "anti-oxidant properties". Blah blah blah. And I was asked to drink it. I was told that it was supposed to be "tasteless", but aparrently, "when you drink it, you will find that it does have some taste because internally, your organs might not be very healthy".

So I drank it. It tasted foul. It tasted very fishy, and I think I could detect a hint of ammonia in the taste. According to the salesman, this was because I slept after midnight the day before, and that "it is the time for our liver to purge its toxins". Ok, whatever. Then he told me that if you are healthy, you would find that the water tastes sweet.

Ok, wait a minute...

Me: "I thought you said the water's supposed to be tasteless?"

Salesman: "Yes, but our tongue and it's taste buds are connected to our internal organs, that's why when you drink it, you find it tastes fishy."

Me: "So if I don't live a healthy lifestyle, and I but this product, I'll have to drink this funny tasting water everyday?"

Salesman: "No, the water will help to correct the problems that you have, and eventually you'll find that it tastes sweet."

Me: "But you said it would be tasteless."

Salesman: "Yes, but our tongue and it's taste buds are connected to our internal organs, so if you are healthy, it will taste sweet."

Me: "Ahh, ok."

I was actually thinking, "right, so how the hell in the world do you know that it's actually tasteless?". I mean, if you're unhealthy, it's supposed to taste fishy, bitter or sour, depending on what ails you, and if you're healthy, it tastes sweet. So when is it tasteless?

But I wanted out from that place, so I just agreed with everything he said, then met with their business manager. I told him I was pressed for time, and that I'd call again to fix another time when he could discuss with me my opporunties with the company. Right. Nanotechnology my ass. Maybe I'll just spam his friggin' phone to irritate him so that I could pay him back for wasting my time.

But that too would be a waste of my time. I've got better things to do. Like go play LAN with my friends. =)

Free!

ORD loh! Whoo hoo!

No more compliants from me about how the Army stinks. =)

The clock is ticking

Well, just came back from church and had lunch not too long ago. Was in camp doing guard duty on Saturday, and headed straight to church after that. If the Formation Duty Specialist is to believed, my fellow company mates and I are due 1 extra. Too bad we didn't mention to him we're going to ORD tomorrow. "I will recommend 1 extra for all the guards on duty on Saturday!". Right. Since my RSM is only going to be back at the end of the month, and we ORD on the 21st, we weren't exactly shaking in our boots. It was actually quite amusing to be threatened with extras that you couldn't serve. And it was also nice to know the Duty Spec was unaware of this fact. I had to prevent myself from smiling as he was reprimanding us and told us how he was "responsible for the security of the camp".

Whatever. I'm going to be collecting my pink IC tomorrow, so I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. I just remembered the parts where he raised his voice.

Anyway, I'm been accepted by the University of British Columbia, and McGill has notified me via e-mail that I've been accepted. I'm just waiting for written confirmation from McGill. I'm still not quite sure which Uni I'll choose yet. UBC's got mild weather and a nice campus beside the Pacific ocean, but Suling and Charlene will be there next year, and McGill has a great academic record, so I'm still pretty torn between the two.

Decisions, decisions. This one's not going to be easy, and I've only got till about June to decide. In the mean time, I'll probably be spending the whole of today counting down the hours and looking forward to tomorrow. =)

My new toy

I got a new laptop for myself on saturday. I decided to go for a value-for-money Acer, any my dad forked out half for it, so I'm now abt $1250 poorer. And there are now 6 computers in my home. No, there is no typo, there are 6 computers in my home now. 3 desktops and 3 laptops, though 1 is assigned to my dad by his company for his work.

Spent sunday installing the programs that I need to make the thing useful, and am now considering whether to get another copy of Warcraft 3 for my laptop, so I can play DoTA when I go study later this year. Well, I can't help myself, I need to be entertained, and my laptop could be the only computer that I'll have in Canada, so it's definitely gonna need to have some games. =)

Anyway, tired now, been having about 5 hours of sleep a day for the past 3 days cos I've been plating DoTA... =). I'll probably play again on thursday and friday, before doing my last guard duty on saturday, but it's rest day today.

The hunt for a new laptop

Went to the IT show with Zhiyuan today. We got to Suntec City at about 11:45, so we headed to NYDC for lunch first. We hit the show at about 12:20 or so, and it was really crowded. Met quite a number of our camp-mates, including Phenwei, Edwin and Jack. Zhiyuan was looking around for LCD monitors, and just generally having a look-see. I was on the look out for a laptop for when I go to Canada.

And what really got me is that the sales people didn't know too much about what they were trying to sell. Reading off the flyers I have, and pointing to me what you are reading is not selling a product to me. That ranks up there with teachers who "teach" by reading off their transparancies or powerpoint presentations. Sometimes I just feel like telling people like this that I know how to read on my own. And it's worse if I obviously know more that the person trying to sell the laptop to me.

Oh well, at least they could quote me the price of the laptops. I ended up asking for the weight of the laptops, which oddly enough, isn't usually included in the flyers, and then taking it down so I could go home and find out more on my own online. I'll probably go back again over the weekend after I look up some stuff on the graphics cards that come with the laptops. Looks like I'm going to have to prepare myself to brave the crowds at the IT show a second time.

I wonder

Reading stuff like this makes me believe that maybe going to Canada and staying there after completing my university education isn't such a bad idea after all. It's also probably one of the reasons why my dad wants to leave. But I've not experienced such things for myself, so I wouldn't know what its really like here. And it also makes me wonder how the Canadians will perceive people like me. I'm really caught in 2 minds as to what to do after university. My experiences here are so limited, how am I supposed to make a decision? At least I have 4 years to make it.

Another thread to check out, on undergrad discrimination here, via mr brown .

Do you have any prior experience?

Went job hunting on Friday, Sony were looking for sales promoters at the upcoming IT show at Suntec City. I interviewed for it. Thought it went ok, but the lady interviewing me didn't seem too keen on hiring me because I had no sales experience. Fair enough, except that when you look in the classifieds for jobs, practically everyone wants to hire people who have experience. So where do people who have no experience start out? I honestly don't know. Employers aren't keen to hire people who are nearing their 40s. In their ads, they all ask for young people. But they want them to have experience. Even for things like admin assistants and data entry posts. They just want it all don't they? I'll know by Monday if I'm wanted. In the meantime, looks like I'll just have to keep reading the classifieds to look for openings.

Disillusioned

I have to reiterate what I said in my previous post. If there ever was a award for the worst man-management ever, it would go to HQ 1 Cdo Bn. They could probably win it even more frequently than the Army's Best Combat Unit award. And the Commandos win the BCU award almost every year. After getting out of camp today (wait... past midnight, so it's yesterday), we were informed via SMS and this website. I'm personally not affected as I'm already doing 3 duties in my last 3 weeks as a conscript slave But my friends are. And I know they feel like crap. Like I've said previously, we've been treated like scum since returning from Australia in November last year. Is it so difficult to work out the allocation of guards in advance? That's all we ask for, and I hardly think it's an unreasonable demand. So on top of asking us to shoulder more than our burden, our HQ decides not to tell us exactly how much crap we have to take till the 11th hour.

Even up till Ex Wallaby, I've always felt that training in the SAF Commandos may have be tough, but we were always given some welfare and treated decently. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. NSFs are nothing more than pawns for regulars to manipulate so that they can get bigger, fatter paychecks. Don't ever believe otherwise. Nothing about an NSF is important, unless they can help the regulars further their careers. Nevermind that my company was the first company to complete Ex Wallaby in 7 years without a single major accident. Nevermind that we did this despite the fact that our exercise involved the largest number of vehicles in Wallaby ever. You are still unimportant.

Last year, we had to forfeit our leave from our 1st year of service because our ex-OC screwed up and told us our leave could be carried forward for 2 years. We were told in end November 2004 that our leave from 2003 had to be cleared by the end of the year. And in the very same breath we were told that we couldn't take this leave because we had to do standby over Christmas, among other things. We were promised that we would be given days off in lieu of the leave we forfeited. But it isn't the same. If you're given 10 days off, you can't go overseas because you need overseas leave to do that. And at the beginning of this year, we were told that how many days off we would be given depended on our IPPT results.

So this is how it works: You make your men forfeit leave which is rightfully theirs and promise to give them days off in return. You even "personally guarantee" it. Then you tell them there are strings attached. And that is not enough. You then tell them that they have to come back to serve duties during their leave/off. Wow. That is a good deal. To pacify your men, you then tell them "nevermind lah, you all already have your leave/off". Sound logic this.

I want a job in the SAF too. Man, all I have to do is make empty promises and come up with fuzzy logic to explain why my promises were broken. I just need the mental capacities of a 6 year old to do that. To be honest, all I'd have to do is lie. And I'd get paid good money for it.

Here is where I give a big, big SIGH... I didn't want to leave feeling so bitter, and I still don't. I have had some truly memorable times during my time as an NSF. My memories aren't all pleasant, we had to go through quite a lot as trainees. But I never felt bitter as a trainee. I can't quite put my finger on why, but I just didn't feel bitter.

Now, I can honestly say I hate my unit. I don't give a fuck what happens in the upcoming ATEC evaluation, and I'd probably be secretly pleased if they fuck it up. They look very capable of doing just that right now. After all, in their preparation exercises, they've had a US Special Forces-trained OC fall asleep during a tactical halt en route to the objective, thus arriving for their pre-dawn raid at 1400hrs. Another company managed to outdo that in a subsequent exercise. They were supposed to capture a bridge by attacking it from both sides. But they got so hopelessly lost they didn't turn up till after the other attacking element finished the entire firefight. The "pride of the Army". They must be feeling real proud of themselves for being so adept at screwing up.

Those who know me well enough will know that I am seldom bitter about things. I may be unhappy about things, and I'll complain loads about it, but I won't be bitter. Except in this case. The only light at the end of the tunnel? I get my pink IC back in less than a month.